Moving to shore up his conservative political base today, John McCain proposed a revolutionary new plan to stem the tide of illegal immigrants across the US-Mexico border.

"I get the message, my friends," said McCain. "Something must be done about the immigration issue. For too long, illegal immigrants have been pouring into this country, cleaning our houses, and mowing our lawns. In order to put a stop to this ever-growing problem, I am bringing a bill before congress this week to put a line of demarcation across the entire US-Mexico border. Anyone who crosses the line without permission will promptly be asked to leave in no uncertain terms."

The details of the plan, just released to the press, entail using baseball chalk markers like those used in little league fields across the country to lay down a marker across all states that border Mexico.

"It's pure genius," remarked Bill O'Reilly, the famous desk whacker from Fox News. "It will increase employment in this country while keeping out drunk driving illegal immigrants who present a very real and grave threat to all Americans."

"I just don't know about this," opined Lou Dobbs, Chief Immigrant Basher for CNN. "I agree with it on principle, but what if it rains? Will they roll out tarps to cover the lines? I will want to look a little deeper into the particulars of this proposal before I can fully support it."

Jerry Brown, Attorney General of the State of California, was not enamored of the proposal. "If this guy gets elected President, buy me a ticket to Toronto," said Brown. "Has he even thought about the environmental impact of laying a chalk line down in our state? Of course not. The man is a menace. Our Governor is a menace, too. Eight years of Bush and now this? Please."

Vice President Dick Cheney was unavailable for comment.