McCainanites, Bushskovites, and other assorted neocons are still happily hacking on Ron Paul.

Michael Goldfarb, Deputy Communications Director for the anointed Republican standard bearer John McCain writes:

"There should be plenty of room for the Paulnuts in Obama's big tent. If Rev. Wright isn't exactly a 9/11 Truther, at least he's breathed new life into the Pearl Harbor Truther movement. Imagine a newsletter coauthored by the Reverend and Lew Rockwell--now that's racial harmony."

Dave Nalle, part of a self-professed "sinister cabal of superior writers ," states:

"...McCain has never presented himself as 'pro-war' that's just their (Paultards, Paulnuts, insert your own pejorative) interpretation. The actual war in Iraq is over and McCain is not currently advocating any other new wars. That McCain supports keeping troops in Iraq until the country is past its current troubles is more of an anti-war position, since our presence there reduces the level of violence and the risk of Iranian invasion and a full-scale war."

Apparently the tired old neocons calling themselves the "New Right," through some arcane process of Orwellian double-think, actually believe that Paul supporters are as stupid as they take pains to portray them.

I have news. It's not that Paul supporters are idiots, the plain fact is that drivel like these two have written would reduce any normal thinking person to incoherent rage.

It is no wonder that such inane nattering produces comments like, "You suck."

Goldfarb trots out Reverend Wright like a circus trick dog and, for a change, decides to use his reprehensible guilt by association tactics on the Ron Paul camp. Why not? If it worked on Obama, it will work on Paul. No sense letting the truth stand in the way of a good smear.

Nalle, from his superior perch, actually has the gall to tell us the war in Iraq is over. Then, apparently just for fun, he goes on to explain how continuing the non-war is actually a peace position.

That sucks, alright.

I was talking to my son the other night. He told me that it was impossible to write political satire because the real political situation is more absurd than we can imagine.

We have a sitting President who manufactured reasons to go to war with a nation that presented no immediate threat to the US. Hundreds of thousands of people are dead.

The only constitutional conservative in the Presidential primaries was branded a nutjob and a kook because he didn't believe that debacle to be sound foreign policy.

When the GOP crashes and burns this November, bring a bag of marshmallows to roast.

It's going to be a hell of a show.

Reporters, pundits, bloggers, and other people of ill-repute scrambled madly today to find new ways to discredit Reverend Jeremiah Wright.

"The best we've been able to come up with so far is a headline stating that an attack on Reverend Wright is an attack on the black church," sighed an anonymous Associated Press reporter. "I know it's weak, but we're working on it."

"This is insane. We can't have an opinionated black man running around saying whatever is on his mind. This country is built upon saying whatever is expedient in order to get elected. This guy doesn't care if he's elected to anything. It's one of the most disgusting, self-serving displays of First Amendment abuse I've ever seen," said a well-known Fox News pundit who wished not to be identified.

"I know how to do it. I'm going to call him a narcissist and drone on endlessly about how he is hurting the Obama campaign." said Emily Wankette, girl reporter. "That ought to fix his wagon."

"I'm just going to keep on calling him a slime and trying to convince people that he is an unpatriotic, ranting wacko," said Robert Mauger, right wing blogger. "If those YouTube videos worked two weeks ago, they'll work now. It's not like anybody watches CNN or PBS anyway. This will all be over soon. We can keep up the good old guilt by association attack on Obama right up to November. I don't see what everybody has their panties in a wad about."

"I think he scares working class white people," said another unidentified pundit. "There is no reason to believe that simply because working class white people have been working next to working class black people for fifty years that they've actually said anything to each other or gotten to know each other. If we can't count on unreasoning fear from the white blue collar set, what can you count on?"

"The worst thing that can happen is people seeing the Reverend Wright as an intelligent, humorous, independent human being who thinks for himself," said a Clinton campaign worker. "We just can't let that happen."

Vice President Dick Cheney was unavailable for comment.

In a stunning reversal of political trends, the latest Sykes poll has the Reverend Jeremiah Wright ahead of John McCain and Hillary Clinton if a national election was held today.

Wright leads McCain by a significant 12% with a margin of error of plus or minus 4%. Ms. Clinton does slightly better with a 9% differential.

"If they want to run against me, I'm down with it." said the Reverend Wright. "If you mess with the bull, you get the horn."

Wright led McCain among all demographic groups. White males over 30 with jobs and IQs over 70 showed a large 21% increase in support for the Chicago minister.

"I like the guy," said Leslie Seydel, an iron worker from Gary, Indiana. "If Wright says it's Easter, you'd best start coloring your eggs."

Wright also led among black and Hispanic voters who would rather chop off a finger than vote for McCain.

"Are you crazy?" asked Maria Espinoza of Fort Lauderdale, Florida. "If McCain gets in, I'm going to Mexico, and I'm from Bolivia."

Ms. Clinton fared slightly better than McCain among gay voters with large Judy Garland record collections. Wright edged her by 6% while McCain was outpolled by a whopping 83%.

Clinton also ran slightly better among women with criminal records for shooting their husbands with large caliber hand guns. Wright was ahead by a statistically insignificant 3%.

"This makes for an entirely new ballgame," opined Lou Dobbs because he could think of nothing else to say. "I believe the media had a large part in these results because of our constant running of the Wright videos from Youtube. The law of unintended consequences came into play."

Vice President Dick Cheney was unavailable for comment.