The premiere of a video that shows an extra-terrestrial peeking into a living room window in Colorado has presidential hopeful Barack Obama up in arms. The video has been authenticated by an instructor with thirty years of experience from the Colorado Film School in Denver.

"If you see a four foot tall space alien peeking through your window, by all means draw your curtains or lower your blinds," Obama advised."My experience on the streets of Chicago tells me that these little geeks can be dangerous. Space aliens do not speak for me or my campaign. I denounce them, but I will meet with them if necessary."

Likely Republican nominee John McCain was quick to respond. "Mr. Obama's response to the alien menace shows the depth of his immaturity and a singular lack of vision," said McCain. "My experience as a fighter pilot enables me to handle situations like this efficiently. If you see a UFO, gun it down. If you see an alien peeking through your window, get your 12-gauge and blast it back to perdition. We can only negotiate through strength. I will meet with space aliens only on my terms."

The Clinton camp took a more pragmatic view. "All votes should be counted," said former President Bill Clinton, speaking for his wife."If the alien was born in the US, it has the constitutional right to vote. We estimate that there are at least a million of these little peepers running around loose based on the frequency of reports. Hillary's views on space exploration are well known. Only a hare-brained fascist or a punk kid from Chicago would say aliens would not vote for Hillary.That puts us ahead in the popular vote and should secure the nomination. In fact, I have communicated telepathically with several aliens, and they all support Hillary."

Dark horse Republican candidate Ron Paul published a statement on his website. "I don't hold with aliens peeping through windows. If they want to fly around and watch people, they have every right to do so."

Congressman Dennis Kucinich shrugged and said I told you so.

Vice President Dick Cheney was unavailable for comment.

Washington D.C.--Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi revealed today that the House of Representatives has passed legislation repealing the law of gravity.

"I don't know why we didn't think of this before," said Pelosi. "Imagine what a boon this will be to the airlines alone. Credit is due to Jerry Brown. If he hadn't mentioned it at a cocktail party about a month ago, it would never have occurred to me. It is genius, pure genius."

"Of course I voted for it," said Dennis Kucinich. "Elizabeth and I have been doing it for years."

The lone dissenter in the house vote was Ron Paul. "This will be almost as big a debacle as when the democrats repealed the law of supply and demand under Roosevelt," opined the congressman from Texas.

Several prominent Democrats from the private sector and the senate questioned the wisdom of the proposal.

"It's definitely a step in the right direction," said Al Gore,"but what are we going to do with the increased traffic congestion in the airways? I can envision bicycles, automobiles, and former pedestrians all gently colliding with each other and moving slowly about with no apparent purpose. I don't think this legislation should pass until a thoughtful, thorough study is made of all the possible ramifications."

Presidential hopeful Barack Obama was enthusiastic about the measure. "The future is here, people," he said. "No more will we be bound by the old ways holding us down. There is real hope for America now. Every man, woman, and child in this country will be able to go where they want with a simple push off any solid object. Our day is here."

"I do wish that boy-- er, I mean guy, would just shut up for a minute," opined Hillary Clinton.

No Republicans, other than Ron Paul, chose to comment on the legislation because they were hurt and resentful that they lacked the imagination to think of it.

"It will never work," said one bitter prominent republican who asked not to be identified. "I just know it."