What is Search Engine Optimization?

Search Engine Optimization, for you novices out there, is writing for search engines instead of people. Since Google has started to penalize sites for duplicate content, many website owners have had to resort to actually writing original articles for their sites instead of picking them up from free article repositories or stealing them from competitors. Sometimes life just isn't fair.

This sad state of affairs has led to a huge demand for original SEO articles to attract readers to sites selling penis enlargement pills, herbal cures for every imaginable illness, fabulous online money-making ideas, and pornography.

Opportunity is everywhere. Go to any freelance auction site or Craig's List and you will see ads similar to this:

I need 500 articles of at least 400 words written by tomorrow. Articles must be optimized for keywords I will supply. I am willing to pay up to fifty cents per article. All articles must be creative, original, and make the customer break his arm reaching for his wallet. I will check each article to make sure it is completely original content and will pay you whenever I get around to it. A prolific writer can make more than $200 per day!!! Take advantage of this FABULOUS work-at home OPPORTUNITY now!!

The sky is the limit in this lucrative field.

Writing the SEO Article: Know Your Market

In order to write an effective SEO article, one must do a thorough market study. Savvy internet marketers all agree that the average web demographic is a white male 14-40 who is surfing the net looking for free porn hoping that his boss, or mother, will not look over his shoulder, see various barnyard animals in coitus with a blonde nymphet on his computer screen, and fire or ground him.

Thus some of the most searched keywords on the net are sex, Miley Cyrus, free porn, and Britney Spears.

Write a Snappy Headline!

Armed with insider knowledge of the inner workings of Google and the internet, the smart writer will write a snappy headline like this:

How to Have Sex With Miley Cyrus if Britney Spears Turns You Down.

There are, of course, many variations the SEO writer may use. For instance:

Did Miley Cyrus Have Sex With Britney Spears on a Free Porn Site?

Free Porn Poll: Would You Rather Have Sex With Miley Cyrus or Britney Spears?

Are Britney Spears and Miley Cyrus the Victims of Sex Exploitation on Free Porn Sites?

All of the above are excellent headlines. Be creative. Write your own.

Getting Down to It: Keep It Simple, Stupid.

Always keep in mind the fact that your reader would not know a parenthetic phrase if it crawled up his leg and bit him on the scrotum. Never ignore the KISS principle! Keep your sentences short and your ideas to yourself. There is no I in T-E-A-M. It is all about the reader, not you. Your reader is a search engine, an abstract machine built to cater to people searching for free porn.

PROTIP: The search engine decides what gets read on the internet.

The professional SEO writer will apply his hard-earned knowledge of search engine behavior and write an article similar to the following:

Many people would like to have sex with Britney Spears. According to the latest polls, even more people would like to have sex with Miley Cyrus. I know that I would really love to have sex with Britney Spears and Miley Cyrus in a threesome. There has been no scientific research on people having sex with both Miley Cyrus and Britney Spears. I dare say that there should be. That would be fascinating and would make great reading on a free porn site.

Experts agree that there are many free porn sites that have content on Miley Cyrus and Britney Spears. No one knows how many, but they are numerous. Some people might even say that there are thousands of free porn sites that deal with sex, Miley Cyrus, and Britney Spears. I don't know if that is true, but it is nice to think about, isn't it?

It is an interesting thought process to imagine Britney Spears having sex with Miley Cyrus on a free porn site. Many sex experts agree with this evaluation. Some do not. It is probably because they were damaged during puberty and have no interest in having sex with Miley Cyrus or Britney Spears and are too timid to surf free porn sites like normal people. I feel sorry for them.

Well, that's all I have to say about sex, Miley Cyrus and Britney Spears.

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The end.


Beginning SEO article writers are encouraged to take the article above and use it in any way they wish.

A link back to this site would be appreciated.