Noted CNN pundit Lou Dobbs died from what medical authorities are calling apoplexy when an illegal immigrant cut in front of him in line at a convenience store today.

"I thought he was just looking at the doughnuts, man," said Luis Rodriguez Ramirez, of Guadalajara, Mexico. "He just went a little crazy, turned blue, and started squawking like a chicken. I didn't think he was going to die. I'm real sorry about that."

Ramirez was taken into custody by INS agents and charged with insufferable rudeness and obstructing a pundit. US Attorney Jeffrey A. Taylor said the Mr. Ramirez may be charged with more serious crimes as soon as he can think of any that are appropriate.

Medical authorities said Mr. Dobbs died en route to George Washington University Hospital. He was pronounced dead on arrival.

"I'm sure I speak for all of us at CNN when I say that Lou will be missed. No one could rail on Obama and Mexicans like Lou. He leaves a big hole in both our programming schedule and our hearts," said Tucker Carlson.

Bill O'Reilly promptly called for a public lynching of Mr. Ramirez, but could only find support from Sean Hannity and Terry Warrick, a freelance camera man who said he would do it for a case of beer.

When syndicated columnist Ann Coulter was informed of Mr. Dobbs' death, she said, "Oh yeah, him. He died, huh? Too bad."

Vice President Dick Cheney was unavailable for comment.