Rumors flew today in the beltway that Hillary Clinton aides Huma Abedin and Neera Tanden had bundled former President Bill Clinton into an unmarked vehicle and spirited him away, possibly to prevent him from talking about his wife in public and doing further damage to her campaign.

The first word came from John Caudill, of Valparaiso, Indiana, who says he saw two women throw a blanket over Bill Clinton and throw him in the back of a black limousine.

"I was just walking down the street headed to the Waffle House to get that special they've been advertising on TV, when all of a sudden, Bill Clinton started racing me to the door," said Caudill. "I knew it was him because no one else has a nose like that. Then a black limo pulled up beside him and two women jumped out, threw a blanket over him, and chucked him into the back of the limo. I recognized Huma Abedin because she is such a hottie. The first thing I did was call the Washington Post with the scoop hoping they'd throw me a few bucks. All I got was a cheap thank you and a we'll look into it."

Gunnersykes.com contacted the Washington Post to verify the story, but the reporter was put on interminable hold until the line disconnected.

Other Washington news sources, having little else to do, were quick to comment on the rumor.

"Now that is what I call decisive action," said James Carville, analyst for CNN. "It's about time she shut that boy up. I don't know what's happened to him, but he's running around shooting off his mouth like it was a howitzer or something."

"This will do serious damage to the image of an ex-president," said Ann Coulter. "I'm delighted. Do you know if they hit him with a sap? Oh, I do hope they hit him with a sap. That would be perfect."

Barack Obama was more philosophical. "I often wonder just exactly who wears the pants in that family. Now I know," he said. "I will hate to see Bill leave the campaign. I was just starting to like him. If my telephone rings at 3:00 am, I know who it will be. He can expect my full aid and assistance."

Vice President Dick Cheney was unavailable for comment.