Vice President Dick Cheney has a new house guest at Number One Observatory Circle. Lucifer, otherwise known as Satan, Prince of Darkness, has moved in temporarily with the Vice President and his family.

"It is, hopefully, not a permanent situation," said the Vice President, "I"m just helping an old buddy out. With the climate changes going on, hell has frozen over, and he has no comfortable place to stay. I feel guilty about it. Maybe a few of our current policies led to the change, but you can't really tell."

"Dick is really thoughtful to put me up like this," said Satan. "I remember how much fun we had flunking out of Yale together. Besides, he owes me big time for those five draft deferments I got him during the Viet Nam War."

The association between Cheney and the Prince of Darkness has been an open secret among Washington insiders for years. Often seen together at cabinet meetings, Old Scratch and Cheney are generally considered the architects of current US foreign policy. The two are said to wield considerable influence in certain domestic and monetary policies, as well.

"We've been talking a little about forming a consulting practice after my term as Vice President is over," confided Cheney. "Only time will tell. Satan is considering that along with offers from all three presidential campaigns to handle strategy for them. Anyway, I'm sure he'll land on his feet. He always does."

President George Bush was unavailable for comment.

Photo work and story idea by J. D. Truesilver.