In a not unexpected development, Gunner Sykes' newest independent poll shows that 83% of American voters believe that former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer resigned because he was under investigation for transporting prostitutes across state lines.

23% of voters under the age of 30 spelled prostitutes "h-o-e-s."

Not surprisingly, 63% of all eligible voters support the US government spending part, or all, of its productive man hours spying on people who are not themselves.

"If they're not doing nothing wrong, they don't have nothing to worry about," said Denise Moorehead, who is in her sixth year of study at Wabash Community College of Storm Door Hanging and Practical Arts.

"If the FBI wants to pry into peoples' bank accounts, tap their phones, and destroy their families in order to stop people from smoking pot in their homes, or hiring prostitutes I can't afford, that's just fine with me," opined Terry Wayne Warhacker, an unemployed mortgage broker. "This time it was just a governor messing around on the side, but next time it just might be a dope dealer, or even a terrorist."

In a related matter, President George Bush proposed expanding the war on terror and ending rising unemployment rates by employing 50% of US citizens to spy on the other 50%.

"My proposal will stop terrorism in its tracks while guaranteeing full employment," explained the President. "Half of the people could spy on one half for an eight hour shift. Then the other half could spy on the other half for the next eight hour shift. Most people sleep during the midnight shift, so I don't think that will be a problem."

Presidential hopeful John McCain applauded the Bush proposal. "We must be ever watchful for wrong-doers and people who employ the services of high-class hos. When I'm President, I will see about applying this principle on an international basis. I don't see why Syria can't spy on Iran, and then Iran take its turn spying on Syria. It would keep everyone straight and possibly end the turmoil in the Middle East."

Vice-President Dick Cheney was unavailable for comment.